Sunday, September 7, 2008

"Who's the Muslim?"


A Television Commercial  (with apologies to Apple)

 

Governor Sarah Palin and an AK-47-toting, fierce-looking Taliban leader stand side-by-side in white limbo. Light, humorous piano music is heard in the background.

 

Gov. Sarah Palin:(cheerfully, to camera) 

Hello, I'm Governor Sarah Palin.  I’m running for Vice-President.

 

The Taliban:(sternly, to camera)

And I'm the Taliban. You know, Governor... you and I really aren’t all that different…

 

Gov. Sarah Palin:

Are you kidding me, Taliban???  I'm going to lead the greatest country in the world, the land of the free, home of the brave.  You... You're just EVIL!


The Taliban:

C’mon Governor... I’m not really evil.  The people of my country are free too… just as long as they strictly follow my religious views.


Gov. Sarah Palin:  

Well, your right-on there... We’re one nation under God. We need to get our country back to good Christian values.


The Taliban:

I really like automatic weapons.  I like to shoot anything and anybody that gets in my way.


Gov. Sarah Palin:  

Me too.  I think everybody should have assault weapons. (Pointing to Taliban’s weapon) Say, is that a Tabuk or a Type 58A?  Think I could take out a moose with one of those?

 

The Taliban:

I am in Jihad, a holy war against western civilization.


Gov. Sarah Palin:  

And our troops are “out on a task that is from God”. It’s a plan “that is God's will."


The Taliban:

I destroy any art or literature that is against my religious views.


Gov. Sarah Palin: (proud)

When I was Mayor of Wasilla, I did fire a librarian cuz she wouldn’t remove books I didn't like from our library.  And the news media?  Don’t get me started.  Can you imagine… those liberal elites actually want me to answer questions before I… er, I mean John McCain… take control of our country.


The Taliban:

I don’t need a news media. My schools give our children a strict Islamic education.  I do not permit art or science to pollute our children’s minds.


Gov. Sarah Palin:

We don’t teach evolution in our schools.  The Bible says that God created the earth and everything on it in under a week. That’s good enough for me!


The Taliban:

I have some very tough rules for women in our society...


Gov. Sarah Palin:

Women have to follow my rules about what they can do with their bodies. And so do gays.


The Taliban: (confused, to Palin)  

What are gays?  (to camera): I prohibit any discussion of sex.


Gov. Sarah Palin: (smiling, confident)

I don’t want sex education in my state's schools.  I prefer "abstinence education".


The Taliban: (interested, turns to Gov. Palin)

How's that working out for you?


(Sound Effect: Baby crying, off camera.  Alarmed, Governor Palin turns to check on off-camera baby)


Cut to: FULL SCREEN LOGO:

McCain/Palin ‘08

And you thought Barack Obama was a Muslim

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